I Don't Feel Very Holy At All
Mass can be an occasion of sin for me. On this Feast of the Holy Family, I am bubbling over with anger and resentment. I have a toddler who wriggles and an infant who cries. My husband and I tag team in an effort to keep them quiet. We trade kids as they whine for Mommy or Daddy. We bounce them on our hips to those good ole’ hymns, plug their screams with a bottle, or Cheerios, and dip into our reserves of emergency toys. Our greatest move is the football hold and sprint to the back of the Church when a meltdown occurs.
The decision as to where to sit during Mass changes weekly. Some Sundays our children are little angels gaining positive attention and smiles from our neighbors in the pews. Others, there are meltdowns, back arches, the limp and slide to the ground, wails, outbursts, and bodily functions. On those days, we get the glares – from grandmothers who have totally forgotten what it was like to have children. My fear is that the bad behavior will reflect poorly on us as parents. This fear is not unfounded. We have been told at a daily Mass that our toddler son was a distraction to the liturgy. Our friends and family have had similar experiences.
What are we supposed to do? Get a babysitter for Mass? Some Churches have crying rooms. Other denominations offer a place for children to play while parents partake of services in a separate room. Our particular Church has a playroom in the basement. Seasoned parents share with us that this oasis exists. We don’t want to reward bad behavior with dump trucks and tea sets.
Even if we don’t feel it, we want for ourselves and our children to receive the graces offered by the Holy Mass. We understand that behavior modification is up to us as parents. We are doing the best we can. Some Sundays are better than others. We want to be there at Mass. We are staying put upstairs.
The decision as to where to sit during Mass changes weekly. Some Sundays our children are little angels gaining positive attention and smiles from our neighbors in the pews. Others, there are meltdowns, back arches, the limp and slide to the ground, wails, outbursts, and bodily functions. On those days, we get the glares – from grandmothers who have totally forgotten what it was like to have children. My fear is that the bad behavior will reflect poorly on us as parents. This fear is not unfounded. We have been told at a daily Mass that our toddler son was a distraction to the liturgy. Our friends and family have had similar experiences.
What are we supposed to do? Get a babysitter for Mass? Some Churches have crying rooms. Other denominations offer a place for children to play while parents partake of services in a separate room. Our particular Church has a playroom in the basement. Seasoned parents share with us that this oasis exists. We don’t want to reward bad behavior with dump trucks and tea sets.
Even if we don’t feel it, we want for ourselves and our children to receive the graces offered by the Holy Mass. We understand that behavior modification is up to us as parents. We are doing the best we can. Some Sundays are better than others. We want to be there at Mass. We are staying put upstairs.
Comments
Post a Comment